what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
