We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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