Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
