just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
