We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
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He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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