She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
