I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
