STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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