Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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