I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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