Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
did i walk over a car last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
