so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this will be a night to untag.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize