i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
