Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
