if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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