drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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