I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
