its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
