So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
