I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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