Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
