SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
