I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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