FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
