thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
