just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize