Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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