Pappa wants mamma naked
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
