Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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