i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize