So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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