Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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