cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize