i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
