I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just pee around me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
