Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
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I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.