it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
why is half of my head shaved?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
