my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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