walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.