I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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