Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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