I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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