my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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