Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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