after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
