you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
