I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Randomize
