life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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