I swear she didn't look like that last week.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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