dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
