I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
