We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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