i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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