Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
