i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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