do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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