We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
